I wish he’d make up his mind!

Following my last appointment with the consultant psychiatrist who is in charge of my case, I was left with the impression that I was about to be cut loose from the service I rely on because I was ‘un-helpable’.  He also made it rather clear to me that he seemed to think that I didn’t even suffer from the recurrent depressive disorder I already had the diagnosis of.  However, on Saturday, I received the copy of his report and he now says that I do suffer from recurrent depressive disorder and that there is the ‘possibility of co-morbid personality characteristics perpetuating his constant low mood’.

I quite like his closing statement: “Overall, it was my impression that Myles Cook suffers from a recurrent depressive disorder, the symptoms of which are currently mild in the absence of antidepressants.  There is a likelihood of Myles Cook suffering from a co-morbid personality disorder with further immediate complicating social and financial stressors that makes his prognosis guarded, in particular, if he had a failed attempt with psychotherapy.”

I do have a couple of issues with his report though.  There are a couple of factual errors such as the fact that I lost my cat and that I fell asleep in one session of group psychotherapy.  Firstly, I almost lost my cat due to his ill-health but didn’t actually lose him. Secondly, I fell asleep in more than one session.

The other issue I have with the report is the idea of the depressive symptoms being ‘mild in the absence of antidepressants’.  Well, if going to bed every night not wanting to wake up the next morning and waking up each morning hating the fact that I’m still breathing is ‘mild’ then, perhaps, the word means something different in psychiatric circles.

I just wish he’d make up his mind about where I stand psychologically so, just perhaps, I might actually get some treatment that might help me.

Until next time…