Happy fucking birthday

At the very moment I post this entry I will become 42 years of age.

It was at 2:45am on Sunday 30th May 1971 that I was born, dragged from the darkness of non-existent and into the blinding light of a hostile, degenerate world. It is a world that does nothing but destroy a person's individuality and replace it with an unfeeling homogenous mass mind.

It is for that reason that I hate my birthday. It represents each passing year that I have been unable to destroy my personal demons or change society for the better. I see the world as it could be, as it should be, and the world as it really is. I see the enormous gulf between the two positions and I see society ruled over by the wrong type of people, those whose only goal in life is to promote their own interests and that of their peers whilst the right-thinking people who not only want their own blossoming but that of society as a whole are constantly belittled and beaten down by the selfish few and their own personal demons.

I despise each passing year that this situation persists and I despise myself for being unable to change the way things are going.

I've spent years trying to fight my personal demons and have got nowhere as whenever I have managed to destroy one it has been replaced by three or four more.

I realise that talk of demons makes me sound a little mad but what I am referring to are the negative thoughts and impulses that seek to keep an individual down, aided by the leaders of our degenerate society who seek to further their own ends at the detriment of the rest of us.

Each birthday just reminds me that I've been stuck in this shitty life for yet another soul-destroying year and I'm sick of it. I have not found the peace that I have been looking for nor have I found any reason for this God-forsaken existence. I have been dragged from the darkness of non-existence into a world of blinding light only to be thrust straight into a personal Hell, populated by demons and soul-destroying entropy.

I'd rather not celebrate the anniversary of an event that I had no say in and that means nothing to me but a constant struggle against the externally imposed darkness of society.