In 2005
I started to actively do work that would make the world a bit of a better
place. I started out helping individuals
with their efforts to better themselves through education by becoming an adult
learner support volunteer and, from there, became a Student Governor on the
Board of Governors at my local adult college whilst bettering myself with
several courses at the same establishment.
In 2009
my efforts went one step further to encompass the betterment of my local
community by organising and presenting a depression awareness event that aimed
to dispel the myths surrounding depression, give people a better impression of
those with the condition and build a sense of community within the depressive
community and beyond. This was followed
up in 2010 with a more generalised mental health awareness event which,
although didn’t get the community bums-in-seats I was hoping to get, did smooth
the way to inter-organisational referrals that helped a number of
individuals. I will never know how many
people were truly helped by that second event because figures weren’t kept.
Back in
2009, I also became the Chair of the Thurrock Mental Health Service User and
Carer Forum which had, due to the uncertainty of its support systems, was in a
poor state and in the following 22 months tried to build it up into something
that could sustain itself if the members wanted to do so. I wrote a constitution and tried to run the group
in such a way that maximised its effectiveness (whether I was successful I will
leave others to judge).
I also
became a columnist on my local news website, Your Thurrock, in 2009. Starting
off with mental health and spreading to more general topics, it was only in
2010 that I set my focus on politics.
The debates between the leaders of the main parties awakened my
political interest and, when the worst happened and the Tories got into power
helped by the treacherous Lib Dems, I used my column to highlight the
injustices that were to follow from that victory. I highlighted the injustice of the Bedroom
Tax, the lack of a true mandate for the Tories to govern and other issues but
all I got was abuse from the Right-wingers who branded me, at one point, a
“communist” because I’m a supporter of the welfare system and hold the bankers
who caused the world banking crisis in contempt. I got very little support from Left-wingers,
who should have rallied to my defence, and what I did get was rather
lacklustre.
Despite
the fact that many of my columns seemed to be Left-wing, I am, in fact,
non-partisan and try to remain as impartial as possible as people would have
seen if Labour had re-taken power and the ferociousness with which I would have
attacked Labour for any mistakes or hateful policies they tried to enact. This was something that I didn’t have a
chance to show given that I only started talking about politics in the
aftermath of the Tory victory in 2010 and something that my Right-wing critics
seem to ignore because it would weaken their position.
2010
was an especially busy year for me as I joined a mental health service user
involvement project that sought to train service users to go out and obtain the
information required by the Mental Health Commissioners of Essex to put the
money where it was most needed in terms of the services it commissioned. For the three years of the project, I and
many others travelled Essex to get the information we needed to improve the
services for the mental health community of Essex. After three long years and many broken
promises by the Commissioners later, the project failed spectacularly,
resulting in no improvements and giving the service users who did the work in
good faith a bad reputation within the mental health service user community. We did good work and got burned for it.
In
2012/13, I became involved with a local university’s service user and carer
involvement programme for their Social Work Faculty. I did good work trying to improve the
readiness of the social work students for the ‘real world’ beyond their lecture
rooms and to give them the sufferer perspective on depression. I was praised for the work I did by lecturers
and students alike and then I got dumped by the programme in 2014 for daring to
use an expletive in one of my sessions which was, in fact, a direct quote from
a social worker about his or her own service user which led to her
suicide. A Left-wing, nanny State policy
was used to stop me from participating in work that would have improved the
service provided to thousands. I was
burned, discarded and left psychologically devastated at a time when I was also
in the middle of a teacher training course I was taking to help me underpin the
work I was doing at the university whilst also going through a divorce and in
imminent danger of losing my disability benefits.
Due to
the circumstances I found myself in back in 2014 with all my good work left
behind me in ashes, I disappeared from public view not wanting to waste my
efforts on an increasingly hostile world.
I would return to my isolation to observe Humanity’s fall from grace.
I have
watched the UK get torn apart by the Tory insistence on chipping away at every
fault line, pitting one group against another, until the whole edifice of UK
society started to crumble. Demonising
groups of individuals is their method to make their draconian policies
palatable for the gullible masses and they have succeeded beyond their wildest
dreams.
The EU
Referendum was the final nail in the coffin for the UK’s soul because it
chipped away at the one fault line left that even the Tories couldn’t control
and allowed the Ultra-Right-wing to get a foothold in the country. Hate fuelled by the Tories between different
groups led to a nasty campaign that has allowed race-hatred to flourish
alongside hatred towards the sick, the disabled, the poor and the jobless.
Despite
my decision to isolate myself from the rest of society, I did get involved in a
couple of marches in London and I have spoken out through my blog but what I
have done has been largely ignored so I returned to my isolation and my role as
the observer of The Fall.
The
Tories are now going towards the Ultra-Right despite what some commentators say
and they are now more openly fascistic than they were, bolstered no doubt by
the rise of the Ultra-Right forces and sentiments within certain groups.
The one
glowing beacon of hope was the election of Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the
Labour Party but, scared by the danger he poses to the status quo, he is being
systematically attacked by elements outside his party and from within. Corbyn may have huge support but I’m afraid
that, in such a hostile environment, he may not be able to turn things
around. Without a significant miracle,
the UK’s soul is already lost to the Ultra-Right.
Having
been abused by the Right and burned by the Left, I now sit outside the battle
and have no reason or inclination to get involved again. Should the future of an Ultra-Right-wing UK
become a reality, I will surely be one of those who will be earmarked for the
UK’s version of ‘The Final Solution’ because of my depression and I will die
(as this is my fondest wish since the age of 11, I don’t see this as a negative
thing) and so I see no reason to fight.
If a miracle happens and Corbyn’s supporters turn the tide, I will be
safe but remain depressed. I have no
stake in the future as I have no children and I will be either dead at the
hands of British Nazis or safe but forever depressed so, again, no real reason
to get involved in what I increasingly see as your fight as I no longer feel a part of the human race.
The
problem is, the threat to Humanity’s soul has spilled out into other countries
and it could have been avoided if people had learned the lessons of
history. The Ultra-Right is in
ascendance and Humanity has only itself to blame.
I tried
to warn people and they ignored me. I’m
not a crank who believes he can see the future; I’m a man who tries to learn
the lessons of history. I could see
history being repeated and can extrapolate the future that will evolve from
current events if they are not changed.
Hitler
was far from an aberration as he was once thought as. Hitler was the forerunner of the dark times
ahead for Humanity.
I will
rise or fall with Humanity but I have tried to do my bit to improve lives and
society and failed. The fight is yours
alone now because I’m out.
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