I don't think that anyone could understand just how lonely I am at the moment. I seem to be being turned against by almost everyone I trusted and my personal circumstances lead me to think that I'm living very close to the edge of almost certain non-existence.
It seems inevitable that I am heading straight into an oblivion in which my body will wither and die long after my mind and spirit have died. I will find myself existing rather than living and I will have no one to reach out to, no one to share even the tiniest part of myself with.
Everything I have been working towards has been cruelly snatched away from me and I am left wondering if there is any point to trying to carry on. I feel as though nothing matters any more and that I should just please my enemies by just letting go of this horrific life in the hope that, if there is anything beyond this life, it cannot be any worse than the one I'm in now.
This personal Hell has finally gotten the best of me and I just want it all to end while the simple act of death can give me some measure of relief.
You aint alone its rightwing greed and les face it the domination of the right in media politics and business thats led to no counterculture we I fear are a part of the counterculture. I am not sure if I am left though I agree with social justice and human rights or capitalist in that I agree with private ownership of homes, enterprises and posessions.
ReplyDeleteBut we neither live with justice and with the new trade deal being negociated between the US and Eu with no democratic say for future governments and the bailout from government of banks and corporations which is anything than capitalism.
I see these barsteds in the financial markets and they will cut your fucking dick of for a fiver. And government does what these sickos want. There are some of us traders who would not sell our parents out for a fiver.
I am still interested in doing a counterculture newspaper its not the printing thats a problem its the advertising and articles and maybe legal aspects I have not worked out.
The whole 60's counterculture happened because of four underground newspapers of that time and as soon as they finished the hippy movement end on that day almost. these newspapers were the international times. OZ, Friednz and Gandalf's Garden.
With Murdoch owning all the main press since 1972 pushing his rightwing agenda its no surprise we want to off ourselves.
Dont do it. - Anthony Auger
I have had to re-submit the above comment because I accidentally deleted it while trying to do something else. That's the problem with using a Smartphone with a very small screen to update one's blog.
ReplyDeleteIn reply, I'd just like to say that, regarding the bigger picture issues Anthony raises (politics, economics, etc), I am not alone as many people are suffering at the hands of nasty deathmongers; however, the piece I posted was about the personal difficulties that I alone face and that are directed solely at me.
I feel a comradeship with those who suffer the indignities shoveled upon us by the Tory Government and I would not wish to diminish that bond between us but there are some things that they do not share with me and those are the things that make me feel so alone now.
I hope this clarifies matters.