Saturday, 15 February 2014

Friday didn't exist for me this week

Apart from a couple of moments of consciousness, yesterday didn't really exist for me.  I had the first dose of my new tranquilizer on Thursday night and fell asleep on the sofa.  I didn't wake up until late in the morning when I put on a CD to listen to, promptly falling back into unconsciousness after a couple of tracks.  My next awakening was when my dinner was plonked on the table but even that was a temporary state of consciousness as I slipped back into slumber until the dying minutes of the day.  I fell asleep again for about an hour until I woke up about 20 minutes ago, just in time for my next dose.

However, Friday wasn't just a non-event for me in that way, it was also a non-event for my physical body as I can barely feel a thing.  My whole body seems numb, as if it doesn't exist.

I suppose all this is good preparation for what happens in a month and a half when my welfare payments have stopped and I will slowly lose bodily function and consciousness because of malnutrition.  Of course, as I won't have the money for my medications either, although I may spend most of my time unconscious, I will certainly feel the pain in my body as it slowly succumbs to the lack of food.

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