Wednesday, 5 December 2012
I know God hates me but she’s really testing my patience right now!
Just as I’m about to try to expand my writing ‘career’ into other avenues, God decides that I haven’t got enough obstacles in my way so she puts another one up for me. I was just about to type up my notes on my laptop regarding the Health & Well-Being Overview & Scrutiny Committee meeting last night when the technological marvel up and died on me. It’s going to be a little difficult being a reporter for Your Thurrock or anyone else without a working computer. Yes, I could use a pen and paper but I think I’d have difficulty getting stuff accepted if I’m sending my pieces to the office via carrier pigeon.
This just compounds the stress of the loss of internet connection I had for a week on my mobile ‘phone and the subsequent death of the handset less than a week after getting the internet connection back. Some people may say that I should stop moaning, just go out and buy another laptop or a tablet PC. That would be a good solution but I’m on welfare and, unlike the media-grabbing exceptions, I don’t get hundreds or thousands of pounds a week with which to buy replacement gadgets. I have enough problems with the day-to-day expenses. I have already had to become the ultimate hypocrite and go cap in hand to my parents, who have precious little money themselves, to ask for a new mobile ‘phone for a Christmas present. I’m a hypocrite because I haven’t celebrated Christmas since 2009 and have made a conscious decision not to ask for presents…until now. As if I haven’t got enough to hate about myself, I’ve got enforced hypocrisy and the potential loss of a ‘career’.
I don’t believe in God but someone seems to have it in for me on the cosmic level and God seems to be a convenient scapegoat for my anger and frustration at being seemingly stymied at every turn. Every effort I make to improve my life and everything I need to make that happen seems to be countered by something on the cosmic level to keep me exactly where I am.
I did manage to get the news items finished but my ability to complete work in the future is seriously compromised now and I’m powerless to alter the circumstances I find myself in, bar robbing a bank or selling off body parts to people with a less than keen eye for the quality of the body parts they’re buying.
Until next time…?